to: whom it may concern [the Best]
you've always silently supported me when i needed a pillar to lean on. you've always voiced your opinion when i asked for it. when i needed a hug, i need not ask before it was given. you've been such an awesome gal.
now a force i cant see or feel is wrecking you and i dont know how to deal with it. i dont know what can i do to help, or is aid even possible. all i know is it hurts me to see you hurt. and whatever it is, however complicated the story gets, i just want you to do what you've always told me to do; seek happiness. i did it half-heartedly, sorta what you're doing now. if you're bent on a path, stick to it, if you know what you want, reach out and grab it. ask and it shall be given, knock and the door shall be opened.
i dont care who or what, i dont know how or when, but when you need a secret box, a granite pillar, or anything else, animate or inanimate, tell/ask/demand it from me, you deserve it so much. i love you, and i dont like to see you this way. decide dear, and decide soon, no matter what your mindset it, i'm with you, as you've always been with me.

internet sucks. computer sucks. weather boiling. balls sweating. good to see bro. phantom of the opera. rolls royce phantom. godiva chocolates. harrods. candy. krispy kremes. more choclit ;) bro. other bro. parents. shopping. more ball sweat. motorhead and foo fighters and other cock-rockers @hyde park. hugo boss. levis. corvette. aston martin. continental gt. porshe cayenne s, gt3, carrera-s. dkny. no size. backside pain. mrt equivalent sucks. missin melb peeps. missin singapore. want some fuckin air conditioning. want stratford upon avon. want blowjob. jokes obviously. early nights, even earlier mornings. breakfast everyday. before 10!! crossaint? croissant? ball sweat? i need to get proper mutha toot internet and a better screwing computer. i need to watch keyss me so i can die laughin. earth would like it here, girls nom yai yai (breasts alot alot (big big)). eugene, i think the underground train system will kill you. good luck. algy, ive no idea where you've gone. weiszi/weisze/babygirl/babydoll/sexiest-woman-alive/ cant find your lips. no idea how to contact you. miss the fantastic four. four. hmm. if i said three, i fear for the safety of my testicles (which are still sweaty). ahh yes, deb deb should be in singapore by now. wonder how the rest are holding up. sigh mt, theres such a romantic atmosphere here, why arent you here to sweep me off my feet? actually, dont touch me, its so friggin sweaty. by the way, the sun (which in joelle's world looks exactly like a lion and vice versa) cums out at like 4am and goes down only at 11pm. bollocks. ok gonna wipe my balls. see yaz.

keysss me, ander the mlked twaylay, v-side the grin grin grass, we'll make the parflays dance like your fathers melt, the silvermousse is barkley, you vear the shooz, and i vill were the dress, so keys me...
rods, it's a hot duet baby! pffft. if you're an ignoramus :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=leW9nn8ZCAM&search=keys%20me
tell me that isnt fuckin hilarious. oi kapatid! some say she looks like you when she first enters the stage from afar. guess what!?! i agree. hahaha.
oh hor! you die! you hurt me. cheat my feelings. i tell MT, my mother, and teacher. you screwed now bitch! hahahaha. i joke. so i was down, i was out, for a few hours. but now im back; and at the same time realsing i have psych exam in 3 hours and im fucked. uFOOOO! total failure!
in around 13 hours, i'll be flying home for 3 hours, before flying off to UK. quick, guess the soreness of a man's backside after sitting on shitty economy class seats for that long! hahaha. this reminds me of how SOME people should not walk and run, just sit in wheelchairs. hahaha. no mr. stephen hawkings, sir, im not talking about you.. what? i cant really 'hear' you, tap your finger harder please. hahaha shit, what's the word coming to, making jokes of a paraplegic who probably has the highest IQ in history, who's the lucasian professor of mathematics, a seat previously held by newton the sweetest physicists ever. ok thats debatable cause einstein was fucking incredible too.
hey guys, if you need or want anything from UK, please tell me asap. so i can tell you asap, to fuck off and buy it yourself. joke lang! dont get all angsty midget up on my ass, put that skateboard away. and deb, you cant borrow it, if not how the fuck will he move around. oh no. this is pure evilness. shoot me. im such a bitch. as mt will say "bitch, you're more of a bitch than a bitch". aye mt, why dont you, just have a nice cup of shut the fuck up, and just suck my ... ... okok i'll stop, you're still blowing me tonight, yeah?
back in singapore on the 25th, ready for:
ketchup (catch up, a-hur-hur-hur) with sam, wild passionate sex with MT, looking for those sneaky sonavabitches dead fishes with rods, treetopcock with the gang, +2kg diet plan, and laughing at 'one two tree's' and 'womits' 'siao' 'wah biang' 'kanina nabei chao cheebye, fuck your mother go and die' and other sexy singaporean terms. might say hi to the cunts in jc and poly too. then laugh at them cause they got exams or some shit. at the end of the day, say what you want, im not trying to say im cool, im just saying im the-muthafucking-bomb (minus the dirty ass crack). so who wants to explode?
deb, if you havent laughed for at least 2 minutes in total while reading this, i'll be so upset. :( break my heart too, why dont you. then slowly... break away...
rods, no body loves you like i do, esp when im being spiderman on the first date when a typhoon hits.
jo : 10kg chope. hahahahahahahahaha
lisa; have fun in HK, we'll ketchup before you can say "cha cha i love toes" 500000000000000000000000000000 times. quick start, and dont lose count ar.

*ps. if im found dead, it's because i just paid 10k in school fees (and im still going to go fail stupid psych. fucking freud (jokes, respect OG, respect, i love you man, dont say i be dissin you, cause i got cha back aiight? if anyone tries to fuck wit ya, somebody's gonna get shat. as in the past tense of shoot, no the supposed past tense of shit. GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD!

extracts from metallica : i disappear
Hey, hey, hey
Ain't no mercy, ain't no mercy there for me,
I'm pain, I'm hope, I'm succour
... ...
Do you bury me when I'm gone
Do you teach me while I'm here
Just as soon as I belong, then it's time I disappear(2x)
... ...
(Just like that
I'm gone, I'm gone oh baby I'm gone
I'm gone, I'm gone babe
I'm gone, I'm gone)

thats my flavour of the week. and i guess i can sorta relate to it. i'll draw you a heart like in my bio paper!

the circle of life; not the lion king shit.
our lives are a tiny part of history. and history and life are always loops in time; history repeats itself. the circle is more associated with our lives than we think, so i reckon.
and now this other circle is complete, i've made a friend only to lose him. robert frost : nothing gold can stay. so it ends, fare ye well, earth... till our lives cross again. thanks once more for everything good, will miss you bro.
and then there's you. you with bittersweet memories and expectance. we've gone so far, only to come back here to square one. if this what you want, im no one to force you. i'll still be waiting outside your door, as i always have been.
so eden sank to grief,
so dawn goes down to day,
nothing gold can stay.

the weary and heavy heart drags along. so sure it's bein followed. somethin dark and scary this way comes. creepin slowly towards pulpitatin ventricles, is it worn on a sleeve? left open bare and naked for all to see? or is it just subtly obvious to the onlookers? drowned in simplicity, do still water run deep? how far can it take the trailing imminent storm. to be scared of somethin you cannot see you cannot know, do you know how that feels? the impending onslaught of emotions tackle the calm air leaving a path of pitch black in its wake, the onset of pain is almost tangible. last question; how do you face an enemy within yourself.
*ps a question without the question mark isnt really a question.

he looked, and he saw that it was good.
but what next?
then again, what now.

fark im tired. 1st time doing anything related to free-running/parkour in melb city. wasnt intense or anything, but the cold made me slower and number, less agile and seemed weaker.
tin came along for his 1st experience being a cool guy. i think he performed better than he thought he would. surprised me. must be some secret vietcong potential. better watch out lest he blows me up or some shit. "it says right there. no free water for chinese bastards". hehehe.
im so friggin hungry i have to go cook some bacon and egg now.
-peace