my friend, how i've neglected you. it pains me. it's been 11 months since my last post. how i've degenerated you from a quasi-intellectual post-it note, to a medium of emotional direction. and these emotions that you have been channeling in the wrong way, they are unsightly and unbecoming of a gentleman. it will not do.

emotion is a fickle being...

you should be a diary, of my thoughts and feelings. my silent friend, whose thoughts ring in my very own brain. i've replaced you with a pack of white sticks which are always there for me through thick and thin. but they kill me slowly, softly, with their song. you? you wouldn't dream of it. you're an entity of reason and a mirror of my emotion.

you're stoked with pure thoughts, well planned ideas. you mirror emotion, allowing me to bask in it, wallow in self-pity, or glow in self-righteousness. thinking and feeling: a seeming paradox. yet in actuality, they are two sides of a coin, a pair of lovers, bivariate.

be a beacon of light. i'll put you on a hill, so that i may see. so that i may look around me, so that i'll see the light, so i'll illuminate my flaws and reflect upon them in a positive fashion. radiate intelligent thoughts, a port-of-call for ideas, a pen-pal worthy of minds.

and thus, i sign off with the oath, ora et labora, with hopes that i will be man enough for my words here today.